SPORTS FEEVER – March 4, 2021

It is hard to believe we start Minnesota High School wrestling playoffs on Monday with the Section 8A team tournament first round.  Tournament time is here.

We are going to try to stream several games.  For sure Crookston home playoff games, the Section 8A Individual tournament in Crookston, the Section 8A Boys and Girls Basketball Championship games, and possibly the Section 8AA boys and girls basketball championship games.  If the Section 8A Boys Hockey game is in EGF we would look at carrying that too.

We would love to do more, but the Region 8A committee is charging us $500 per game so that limited what we will do, especially this year because we have a hard time going out and asking businesses for more and more money during a pandemic.  We are hoping to at least break even on the streaming.  We still haven’t heard of a concrete price we will be charged for the Section 8AA basketball games yet.

If you want to sponsor our tournament streaming coverage, let me know at

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The mailbag seemed to be a hit with many people last week so we will go with another dip into the Chris Fee fanmail folder. It has been an active folder this week.

You suck!  You are lucky you are so good looking otherwise it would be splitsville!
Tiffany F. (Crookston)

I know how you feel!  At least people aren’t hoping you get fired and are talking about your possible replacements, like me.
Sincerely – Richard P. (Dinkytown)

You definitely aren’t terrible, but you aren’t close to being Elite either!  Keep your head up, Row the Boat, Ski-U-Mah, and Go Gopher Communications!
P.J. F. (Dinkytown)

I always thought you were turrible.  Even when I met you in the airport after the final four.
Charles B. (Philadelphia/Atlanta – TNT Studios)

You aren’t terrible.  You just aren’t very good.  But I still love you!
Love Mom

Well, that was fun.  Let’s do it again next week:)

— — —

Crookston Pirate Athletics has made a few changes to the wrestling and boys basketball schedule.

Crookston Boys Basketball has added Warren-A-O to the schedule with a game on Saturday afternoon in Crookston.

Crookston Pirate Wrestling won’t compete in Breckenridge on Saturday because they will have the Section 8A wrestling tournament first-round match on Monday.

— — —

We will look at the Section 8AA Basketball, Section 8A basketball, Section 8A hockey, and Section 8A Wrestling QRF’s with the postseason right around the corner.

The QRF is courtesy of

The Winter Sports QRF tie-breakers have been updated as of March 1, and you can see it will come into play in several seeds.

Girls Hockey – 3/1/21

Class Current TM** Projected TM* LY TM
A 3.8 4.4 4.3
AA 5.3 6.2 6.3


Boys Hockey – 3/1/21

Class Current TM** Projected TM* LY TM
A 3.6 4.2 4.2
AA 5.6 6.5 6.4


Girls Basketball – 3/1/21

Class Current TM** Projected TM* LY TM
A 4.2 4.8 4.7
AA 5.9 6.9 6.9
AAA 8.2 9.6 9.6
AAAA 11.3 13.2 13.7


Boys Basketball – 3/1/21

Class Current TM** Projected TM* LY TM
A 4.1 4.9 4.6
AA 5.9 6.9 6.6
AAA 8.6 10.1 9.3
AAAA 11.1 13.1 12.9


Wrestling – 3/1/21

Class Current TM** Projected TM* LY TM
A 6.8 8.4 n/a
AA 8.8 10.7 n/a
AAAA 12.0 14.7 n/a


* The Projected Tiebreaker Margin is an attempt to identify what the final TM will be for that Class based on a combination of previous and current year data.  The final TM will be determined on the date your Section seeds.

— — —

Warroad has the top spot in the north right now.  Warroad’s schedule in the last four games won’t reward them with many points, but DGF’s schedule will be a lot tougher.  I am guessing DGF could be the top seed in the north, and they can lose one game the rest of the season to do that.  I think whoever wins between TRF and Hawley in their only meeting of the year on Monday will be the third seed.  The rest of the seeding will be a jumble, with EGF, Bagley, and Park Rapids fighting for the fifth seed.  Bagley has a win over East Grand Forks for a tie-breaker.  Park Rapids doesn’t play Bagley or East Grand Forks, so it could come down to section record, and Bagley and Park Rapids have the advantage there.  It is too close to call at this point.
And it looks like no matter what, Crookston will be going to Roseau for a play-in game.

Section 8AA – North Standings (Seeded – 3/14)
Team (QRF)
No. 39 Warroad (74.1) 5-1 11-2 Won 4
No. 43 DGF (72.6) 4-5 6-5 Lost 3
No. 70 TRF (53.2) 5-3 5-6 Lost 3
No. 74 Hawley (51.2) 4-8 6-8 Lost 1
No. 86 EGF (45.2) 3-6 6-8 Lost 3
No. 91 Bagley (40.5) 2-2 6-7 Won 4
No. 92 Park Rapids (39.9) 2-2 3-9 Lost 1
No. 113 Roseau (26.7) 2-3 4-9 Lost 3
No. 123 Crookston (16.6) 0-10 1-13 Lost 11


Perham looks like they will be the top seed in the South, and if they win out, they are pretty much guaranteed to be the top seed.  They split with Breckenridge during the season, and Breckenridge has a better conference and section record as of Wednesday.  Every game will be a big game the rest of the way, but it looks like Perham has “figured” things out and is playing well right now.
Fergus Falls looks to be in good shape for the third seed, but a win over Breckenridge and Perham would push them into the top spot.  So who knows what will happen in the final week and a half.
Barnesville looks to be locked in at the fourth spot, Breckenridge at the fifth spot, Frazee and Wadena-Deer Creek are battling for the sixth seed.  Frazee beat WDC earlier this year in their only meeting and would have the tie-breaker.
And it looks like Menahga and Staples-Motley will face-off in the play-in game.

Section 8AA – South Standings (Seeded – 3/14)
Team (QRF)
No. 8 Perham (110.6) 9-2 12-2 Won 8
No. 10 Breckenridge (107.1) 9-1 10-3 Won 4
No. 16 Fergus Falls (98.2) 0-0 7-7 Lost 3
No. 25 Barnesville (84.7) 6-4 8-4 Won 2
No. 55 Pelican Rapids (64.1) 6-5 7-6 Won 1
No. 68 Frazee (55.0) 5-7 6-8 Lost 2
No. 69 Wadena-DC (53.9) 1-1 7-6 Lost 2
No. 89 Menahga (42.0) 0-2 4-6 Won 3
No. 110 Staples-Motley (27.6) 1-2 2-10 Lost 1


— — —

It looks like Fertile-Beltrami will be the top seed if they win out, and BGMR suffers a loss or more.  It is possible BGMR could get the top seed, but they would need to win all of their games to have a solid shot of doing that.
There is a three-way battle for the third seed with Stephen-Argyle, Northern Freeze, and Red Lake County.  If Stephen-Argyle wins out, they will be the third seed and possibly even a second seed.  The Storm play Northern Freeze in the final game of the regular season, and that could be for the third seed!  Red Lake County also has a good chance of moving up to the third seed if they win the rest of their games, and they could get a second seed.  So what I am trying to say is the second, third, fourth, and fifth seed are still up in the air with a lot of big games coming up.
The sixth seed will have Warren-Alvarado-Oslo and Ada-Borup/West.
The eighth seed will likely be Sacred Heart.
The ninth seed will go to Kittson County Central over Climax-Fisher unless one of the teams wins a game.  Right now, KCC has a better section and overall record.

Section 8A – West Standings (QRF Seeded – 3/14)
Team (QRF)
No. 13 Fertile-Beltrami (73.4) 7-1 12-2 Won 3
No. 22 Badger/G-MR (67.6) 7-2 10-3 Won 1
No. 30 Stephen-Argyle (62.5) 9-2 9-2 Lost 1
No. 31 Northern Freeze (61.8) 9-3 9-4 Won 1
No. 39 Red Lake County (59.0) 9-3 9-4 Won 2
No. 66 Warren-A-O (44.2) 6-7 7-7 Won 2
No. 70 Ada-Borup (42.0) 2-2 6-6 Won 2
No. 87 Sacred Heart (37.0) 5-7 5-8 Lost 1
No. 133 Climax/Fisher (19.0) 0-8 1-14 Lost 1
No. 136 Kittson CC (16.9) 1-9 1-12 Lost 4


The top seed will be Cass Lake-Bena.  They beat Win-E-Mac in their only meeting of the year for the tie-breaker.  Win-E-Mac will be the second seed.
The third seed is going to come down to the final game and possibly a tie-breaker or two.  Red Lake and Blackduck split the two games they played earlier this season.  Red Lake has a better conference record as of Wednesday.  But wait, there’s more!  Fosston, Clearbrook-Gonvick, and Goodridge/Grygla could all be in the hunt to move up with a strong finish, so it is still up in the air.
The one thing we know is Lake of the Woods will be the 10th seed.

Section 8A – East Standings (QRF Seeded – 3/14)
Team (QRF)
No. 16 Cass Lake-Bena (71.4) 8-0 12-3 Won 1
No. 20 Win-E-Mac (67.8) 7-2 12-2 Won 8
No. 59 Red Lake (46.4) 3-3 8-5 Won 1
No. 74 Blackduck (40.8) 4-4 7-7 Won 1
No. 93 Fosston (33.9) 2-7 4-9 Lost 7
No. 100 Clearbrook-Gonvick (33.3) 2-9 4-9 Lost 2
No. 102 Goodridge/Grygla (32.0) 5-9 6-10 Lost 3
No. 114 Northome/Kelliher (26.2) 2-5 5-9 Lost 5
No. 149 Lake of the Woods (8.5) 0-5 0-11 Lost 11


— — —

The Crookston Pirates have locked up the top seed in the north with an overtime win over Hawley on Tuesday.  Hawley is locked in at second.
The third seed will come down to the wire as Park Rapids, Roseau, East Grand Forks, and even DGF all have a shot at the third seed.  Thief River Falls looks to be the seventh seed.  Warroad and Bagley will be in the play-in game for the rights to play Fergus Falls in the first round.

Section 8AA – North Standings (QRF Seeded – 3/14)
Team (QRF)
No. 22 Crookston (93.0) 8-3 10-3 Won 2
No. 50 Hawley (66.2) 8-6 8-6 Lost 1
No. 84 Park Rapids (43.5) 3-4 4-8 Won 1
No. 90 Roseau (41.5) 3-5 5-9 Won 4
No. 95 EGF (40.2) 3-4 5-8 Lost 1
No. 100 DGF (35.4) 2-10 2-11 Lost 8
No. 114 TRF (26.0) 2-6 2-11 Lost 8
No. 122 Warroad (21.7) 0-3 3-10 Lost 1
No. 128 Bagley (10.5) 1-1 1-11 Won 1


Fergus Falls has the top seed wrapped up by over 40 points in the QRF, and from what I have seen, they have the best team in the section.  BUT, seven other teams can beat them this year.
Pelican Rapids will be the second seed.  The third seed is still up in the air, with Breckenridge, Perham, and Barnesville fighting until the final game.
Menahga will be the sixth seed.
The final three seeds are up for grabs, with Staples-Motley, Wadena-Deer Creek, and Frazee trying to get out of the play-in game.

Section 8AA – South Standings (QRF Seeded – 3/14)
Team (QRF)
No. 1 Fergus Falls (147.5) 1-1 11-3 Won 8
No. 9 Pelican Rapids (104.5) 10-1 13-1 Won 7
No. 28 Breckenridge (85.4) 8-2 10-3 Won 4
No. 29 Perham (84.8) 8-4 9-5 Won 1
No. 35 Barnesville (82.1) 6-3 8-3 Won 4
No. 44 Menahga (71.6) 3-0 8-3 Lost 2
No. 96 Staples-Motley (38.8) 1-2 4-10 Lost 1
No. 98 Wadena-DC (36.5) 1-4 6-8 Won 2
No. 101 Frazee (34.9) 2-11 2-12 Lost 6


— — —

It looks like Stephen-Argyle will be the top seed in the west.  Even though the Badger/Greenbush-Middle River is right there with them at the top spot, Stephen-Argyle won the only meeting between the teams.  Fertile-Beltrami and Red Lake Falls are fighting for the third seed.  The teams don’t play each other, so if either team wins out, they would be the third seed.  It is still too close to call.
KCC looks like they will be the fifth seed, WAO will be the sixth seed, Northern Freeze will likely be the seventh, Climax-Fisher the eighth, and RLCC and Sacred Heart will fight to stay out of the cellar.

Section 8A – West Standings (QRF Seeded – 3/14)
QRF Rank
Team (QRF)
No. 17 Stephen-Argyle (68.2) 11-1 11-2 Lost 1
No. 19 Badger/G-MR (68.0) 7-2 11-3 Won 8
No. 29 Fertile-Beltrami (63.2) 4-1 8-2 Won 6
No. 36 Red Lake Falls (59.2) 9-3 10-4 Won 1
No. 53 KCC (49.6) 3-6 6-6 Won 1
No. 67 Warren-A-O (43.0) 7-7 7-7 Lost 2
No. 87 Northern Freeze (33.8) 2-8 3-8 Lost 2
No. 91 Climax/Fisher (30.3) 1-4 4-9 Won 1
No. 105 RLCC (25.6) 2-9 2-10 Lost 6
No. 111 Sacred Heart (22.7) 1-11 2-13 Lost 6


The top seed will come down to whoever can win out.  Fosston has two big games with Fertile-Beltrami and Stephen-Argyle.  Cass Lake-Bena has two big games against Duluth Marshall and Mountain Iron-Buhl.  It will likely come down to a tie-breaker.
Goodridge/Grygla has shown they are ready to make a run in the playoffs and look like they might be able to lock up the third seed with a couple of wins.  I am picking Goodridge-Grygla as my “sleeper” pick to make a run.
The rest of the sub-section seems to be in place until the final three spots, with Lake of the Woods, Blackduck, and Win-E-Mac all having two wins and all within a point separating them.

Section 8A – East Standings (QRF Seeded – 3/14)
Team (QRF)
No. 11 Fosston (75.0) 6-0 12-0 Won 12
No. 12 Cass Lake-Bena (74.2) 6-1 11-3 Won 10
No. 41 Goodridge/Grygla (56.5) 9-4 10-4 Won 4
No. 48 Clearbrook-Gonvick (50.8) 7-3 9-3 Won 6
No. 57 Red Lake (47.8) 5-2 7-3 Won 1
No. 79 Kelliher/Northome (37.7) 4-5 7-6 Lost 1
No. 113 Lake of the Woods (21.4) 0-4 2-7 Won 1
No. 114 Blackduck (21.1) 1-8 2-11 Lost 6
No. 117 Win-E-Mac (20.6) 0-6 2-12 Lost 4


— — —

Section 8A Boys hockey doesn’t go by QRF, and they will have coaches seed.  Here is how I think things might look at seed time.
Whoever wins between Warroad and East Grand Forks on Thursday will likely get the top seed.  East Grand Forks already beat Warroad once, so a Green Wave win locks up the top seed.
So I am thinking this – (But there are many important games that will change the seeding depending on what happens!)
1. East Grand Forks
2. Warroad
3. Thief River Falls
4. Kittson County Central
5. Red Lake Falls
6. Detroit Lakes
7. Crookston
8. Park Rapids
9. Lake of the Woods
10. Bagley-Fosston

Section 8A Standings
Team (QRF)
No. 5 Warroad (66.1) 4-1-0 7-4-2 Lost 1
No. 11 East Grand Forks (59.0) 4-0-0 7-7-0 Lost 2
No. 17 Red Lake Falls (51.7) 6-2-0 10-3-0 Won 3
No. 27 Kittson Central (46.2) 8-1-1 9-2-1 Won 8
No. 28 Thief River Falls (44.5) 5-2-1 7-5-1 Won 3
No. 41 Detroit Lakes (37.8) 3-4-0 7-7-0 Won 1
No. 61 Park Rapids  (22.3) 1-6-0 4-10-0 Lost 6
No. 63 Crookston (22.0) 2-6-0 2-9-0 Lost 1
No. 70 Bagley/Fosston (18.9) 0-6-0 5-9-0 Lost 3
No. 76 LOW (16.8) 1-6-0 1-8-0 Lost 1

— — —

The seeds are pretty much decided, and the coaches vote should be relatively easy.
The top seed is Warroad.
Thief River Falls will be the second seed.
Crookston will be the third seed if they beat Detroit Lakes on Monday.
I think Detroit Lakes will be the fifth seed as they split with EGF, but the Green Wave beat DL 5-1 in their last meeting.

Section 8A Standings
Team (QRF)
No. 1 Warroad (97.1) 3-0-0 12-1-0 Won 7
No. 20 Thief River Falls (43.6) 5-1-0 6-5-1 Won 1
No. 32 Crookston (32.2) 2-5-1 6-8-1 Lost 1
No. 34 Detroit Lakes (29.5) 1-3-0 7-6-0 Won 2
No. 35 East Grand Forks (29.3) 2-4-1 3-10-1 Lost 4


— — —

As of Wednesday, it looks like United North Central will be the top seed.  BUT, United North Central, Crookston, and Frazee will all meet on Thursday evening, and the three matches will have a lot to do with the final seeding.
If UNC wins both matches, they are the top seed.
If Crookston wins both, they have a good argument for a top seed since they lost to BGMR without their 106 pounder in that match.
If Frazee wins both matches they could make a great argument for the top seed and likely be the top seed.
So with that said….here is a prediction of how things might go as of Wednesday.
1. UNC
3. Crookston
4. Frazee
5. Fosston-Bagley
6. Mahnomen-Waubun
7. Park Rapids
8. Fertile-Beltrami
9. Red Lake County Central

Section 8A Standings
Team (QRF)
No. 19 Badger/G-MR (96.4) 7-2 19-6 Lost 3
No. 21 United North Central (86.8) 3-0 15-6 Won 4
No. 28 Crookston (77.8) 5-1 19-8 Won 1
No. 30 Frazee (73.0) 1-0 9-10 Won 1
No. 47 Fosston/Bagley (52.9) 6-2 10-14 Won 2
No. 64 Mahnomen/Waubun (38.8) 2-4 7-14 Lost 8
No. 68 Park Rapids Area (36.2) 2-5 6-14 Lost 2
No. 74 Fertile-Beltrami (34.5) 1-6 3-15 Lost 4
No. 75 RLCC (32.7) 0-7 1-14 Lost 6


— — —

I was surprised to see that Minnesota State Moorhead Dragon athletic director Doug Peters is leaving after 14 years while taking a position at Prairie Heights Community Church in West Fargo.
Doug turned around a terrible Dragon athletic program and hired coaches like Steve Laqua and Chad Walthall.

Athletic-generated revenue grew to more than $1 million, and scholarship funding went from $434,000 in 2007-08, to $1.26 million in 2020-21, according to MSUM’s athletic department. The scholarship equivalencies doubled while Peters was the athletic director.

What Doug did in his 14 years was amazing.  Most of the sports were the same as UMC 14 years ago.  Now they are better in every sport.  The only sport they aren’t better in is baseball because Moorhead doesn’t have it, and that is the one sport at UMC that has a chance to be competitive and in the top half of the NSIC!

— — —

According to the Star Tribune’s David La Vaque, the Minnesota State High School League has released some information about the winter state tournaments.  Some of the information is below –

A maximum of 250 spectators will be allowed to attend the state tournament games/matches.  The MSHSL is hoping for at least one, possibly two, family members to attend.

Around 45 schools will be needed for the state tournament quarterfinals in basketball and the state prelims in Wrestling.  It looks like Cass Lake-Bena will be the sight for the Section 7A/8A state prelims.

Not all wrestling tournament sites will be able to accommodate spectators for the individual tournament.

— — —


Thief River Falls Wrestling Coach, Kenny Geiser, won the 300th match of his career this week.

BGMR Wrestling’s Caleb Vacura (junior) recorded the 100th win of his career on Friday.

Thief River Falls Wrestler, Griffin Lundeen, won the 100th match of his career.

— — —

The University of Minnesota Crookston women’s basketball team announced the signing of Abi Fraaza (6-foot forward from Birnamwood, Wisconsin) to a National Letter of Intent.  Fraaza is a two-time All-Conference First Team selection in basketball. She was named a Wisconsin Basketball Coaches Association Honorable Mention All-Star. Fraaza also earned All-Conference Second Team honors. She was named the MVP for the Conference for her junior year.  Fraaza is averaging six points and 3 rebounds per game during her senior year at Wittenberg-Birnamwood High School. As a junior, she averaged 16 points and 11 rebounds per game. As a sophomore, Fraaza had eight points and 11 rebounds per game.  She is the daughter of Bill and Charity Fraaza and plans to major in exercise science and wellness at UMC.

— — —

The University of Minnesota Crookston men’s golf team announced the signing of Rory Wutzke (Camrose, Alberta/Our Lady of Mount Pleasant H.S.) to a National Letter of Intent. Wutzke joins his high school teammate Devin Kucy (Camrose, Alberta/Our Lady of Mount Pleasant H.S.) and Layton Bartley (Fargo, N.D./Sheyenne H.S.) as signees for the Golden Eagles.
Wutzke was on the same high school squad as fellow signee Devin Kucy. He helped lead Our Lady of Mount Pleasant H.S. to Provincial Golf Championships in 2018 and 2019. In 2019, he was an Order of Merit winner on the Alberta Junior Tour. He has been an honor’s student from grades 7-12. Wutzke holds a 3.70 GPA. He has been competing on the Alberta Junior Tour for the last two years. He has also competed in hockey, basketball, track, badminton, and tennis.
He is the son of Kathy Schultz and Scott Schneider and plans to major in sports and rec management and marketing.

— — —

The Men’s College Hockey Senior CLASS Award finalists have been announced, and it includes three Minnesota Golden Gophers, one from St. Cloud State, and one from UND.

Kevin Fitzgerald, St. Cloud State
Matt Hellickson, Notre Dame
Nick Jenny, Robert Morris
Jordan Kawaguchi, North Dakota
Jack LaFontaine, Minnesota
Alex Limoges, Penn State
Brannon McManus, Minnesota
Scott Reedy, Minnesota
Zach Solow, Northeastern
Odeen Tufto, Quinnipiac

The 2020 winner of the award was Alaska Anchorage defenseman, Nolan Nicholas.

— — —

The third and final edition of the NCAA Division II women’s basketball regional rankings was released. The NSIC continues to have three of the eight teams in the central region. Minnesota Duluth is third, St. Cloud State is fifth, and Augustana is sixth.

The NSIC and the Mid-America Intercollegiate Athletics Association (MIAA) make up the NCAA Central Region this year. The top six teams in the region advance to the NCAA Regional Tournament on March 12-13, 15.  Automatic bids are granted to the NSIC and MIAA postseason tournament winners, with the remaining four spots being awarded on an at-large basis. UMD earned the automatic bid from the NSIC after winning the NSIC/Sanford Health Tournament.

The NCAA Women’s Basketball Selection Show is set to air on at 9 p.m. (CT) on Sunday, March 7. The NCAA Elite Eight will take place on March 23-26 at the at the Great Columbus Convention Center in Columbus, Ohio.

1 Fort Hays State (MIAA) 20-2 20-2
2 Central Missouri (MIAA) 20-3 20-3
3 Minnesota Duluth (NSIC)* 13-1 13-1
4 Nebraska-Kearney (MIAA) 19-3 19-3
5 St. Cloud State (NSIC) 12-5 12-5
6 Augustana (NSIC) 12-5 12-5
7 Emporia State (MIAA) 17-5 17-5
8 Central Oklahoma (MIAA) 14-8 14-8


— — —

The third and final edition of the NCAA Division II men’s basketball regional rankings were released, and the NSIC has four of the eight teams in the central region.  Northern State came in second, while Wayne State was fourth, MSU Moorhead fifth, and Upper Iowa was eighth.

The NSIC and the Mid-America Intercollegiate Athletics Association (MIAA) make up the NCAA Central Region this year.  The top six teams in the region advance to the NCAA Regional Tournament on March 13-14, 16 in Aberdeen, South Dakota.   Automatic bids are granted to the winners of the NSIC and MIAA postseason tournaments, with the remaining four spots being awarded on an at-large basis. Northern State earned the NSIC automatic bid with its fourth straight NSIC/Sanford Health Tournament win.

The NCAA Men’s Basketball Selection Show is set to air on at 9:30 p.m. (CT) on Sunday, March 7. The NCAA Elite Eight will take place on March 24-27 at the Ford Center in Evansville, Indiana.

1 Northwest Missouri State (MIAA) 21-0 21-0
2 Northern State (NSIC)* 18-1 18-1
3 Washburn (MIAA) 16-6 16-6
4 Wayne State (NSIC) 11-6 11-6
5 MSU Moorhead (NSIC) 10-4 10-4
6 Missouri Western (MIAA) 13-9 13-9
7 Missouri Southern State (MIAA) 13-9 13-9
8 Upper Iowa (NSIC) 10-7 10-7


— — —


I think there’s something wrong with my wife.
She’s hallucinating.
She keeps telling me she’s seeing other people.

— — —

One day in the great forest a magical frog was walking down to a water hole. This forest was so big that the frog had never seen another animal in all his life.

By chance today a bear was chasing after a rabbit to have for dinner. The frog called for the two to stop. The frog said “Because you are the only two animals I have seen, I will grant you both three wishes… Bear, you go first.”

The bear thought for a minute, and being the male he was, said “I wish for all the bears in this forest, besides me, to be female.” For his wish, the rabbit asked for a crash helmet, and immediately put it on.

The bear was amazed at the stupidity of the rabbit, wasting his wish like that. It was the bear’s second turn for a wish. “Well, I wish that all the bears in the next forest were female as well.” Rabbit asked for a motorcycle and immediately hopped on it and gunned the engine. The bear was shocked that the rabbit was asking for these stupid things, after all, he could have asked for money and bought the motorcycle.

For the last wish the bear thought for awhile and then said, “I wish that all the bears in the world, besides me, were female.”

The rabbit grinned, gunned the engine, and said, “I wish that the bear was gay…”

— — —

A few minutes before the church services started, the congregation was sitting in their pews and talking. Suddenly, Satan appeared at the front of the church.
Everyone started screaming and running for the back entrance, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away from evil incarnate. Soon the church was empty except for one elderly gentleman who sat calmly in his pew without moving, seemingly oblivious to the fact that God’s ultimate enemy was in his presence.
So Satan walked up to the man and said, ‘Do you know who I am?’
The man replied, ‘Yep, sure do.’
Aren’t you afraid of me?’ Satan asked.
‘Nope, sure ain’t.’ said the man.
Don’t you realize I can kill you with one word?’ asked Satan.
Don’t doubt it for a minute, ‘ returned the old man, in an even tone.
‘Did you know that I can cause you profound, horrifying agony for all eternity?’ persisted Satan.
Yep,’ was the calm reply.
‘And you’re still not afraid?’ asked Satan.
‘Nope,’ said the old man.
More than a little perturbed, Satan asked, ‘ Why aren’t you afraid of me?’
The man calmly replied, ‘Been married to your sister for 48 years.’

— — —

Earl and Bubba are quietly sitting in a boat fishing, chewing tobacco and drinking beer when suddenly Bubba says, “Think I’m gonna divorce the wife… she ain’t spoke to me in over 2 months.”

Earl spits overboard, takes a long, slow sip of beer and says, “Better think it over… women like that are hard to find.”

— — —

A very shy guy goes into a bar and sees a beautiful woman sitting at the bar. After an hour of gathering up his courage he finally goes over to her and asks, tentatively, “Um, would you mind if I chatted with you for a while?”
She responds by yelling, at the top of her lungs, “No, I won’t sleep with you tonight!” Everyone in the bar is now staring at them. Naturally, the guy is hopelessly and completely embarrassed and he slinks back to his table.
After a few minutes, the woman walks over to him and apologizes. She smiles at him and says, “I’m sorry if I embarrassed you. You see, I’m a graduate student in psychology and I’m studying how people respond to embarrassing situations.”
To which he responds, at the top of his lungs, “What do you mean $200?”

— — —

How are former Crookston Pirates athletes doing in college or elsewhere?

Paul Bittner is playing professional hockey in Sweden for Vasby IK of the HockeyAllsvenskan league.

Aleece Durbin, is a Junior on the University of North Dakota Women’s Track and Field team.

Ben Trostad is playing Club Hockey and Men’s Golf at UMC.

Ty Hamre is playing Club Hockey at UMC.

Brandon Boetcher is playing Club Hockey at UMC.

Brady Butt is a freshman playing football at the University of Jamestown.

Brita Fagerlund, is a Senior on the University of Jamestown Jimmy Women’s Track team.

Rachel Hefta, a Sophomore, is playing volleyball at Hastings College in Nebraska.

Nick Garmen is a sophomore playing tennis at the University of Minnesota Morris.

Thea Oman, a sophomore, is swimming at St. Ben’s.

Crookston School District Coaches –
Emily Meyer is a girls hockey and softball assistant coach.
Carrie Clauson 
is a Junior High girls tennis coach.
Jeremy Lubinski
 is a Pirate 8th Grade Football coach.
Amy Boll 
is the head Pirate Girls Track head coach and assistant volleyball coach
Sarah Reese 
is the Pirate Head Girls Soccer coach
Cody Brekken
 is the Head Pirate Girls and Boys Tennis coach and Crookston Community Pool Supervisor
Marley Melbye is the Head Girls Swimming coach
Mitch Bakken is the head Pirate Baseball coach.
Brock Hanson
 is the Pirate Baseball volunteer assistant coach.
Jeff Perreault 
is the Pirate Girls Golf head coach
Wes Hanson is the Pirate Wrestling Head Coach and assistant boys golf coach
Kevin Weber is a Pirate Boys Basketball volunteer assistant coach
Connor Morgan is the Pirate Boys Hockey assistant coach
Sam Melbye is the Pirate Boys J.V. Hockey coach
Chris Dufault is a youth wrestling Coach
Colton Weiland is an assistant wrestling coach

Non-Crookston High School coaching –

Cody Weiland is an assistant wrestling coach at Proctor/Hermantown

Kaylee Desrosier is a softball coach for Fargo Davies Middle School.

Justin Johnson is an assistant softball coach at the University of Minnesota Crookston.

Josh Edlund  is an assistant football coach and phy ed teacher at Flandreau, South Dakota.

Allison Lindsey Axness is Assistant Varsity Volleyball Coach in Champlin Park

Jeff Olson is Head Wrestling coach and Head Baseball coach at Delano.

Jake Olson is an Assistant Football Coach and Head Boys Tennis coach at Delano.

Carmen (Kreibich) Johnson, is Head Volleyball coach at Little Falls High School.

Katy Westrom, is Head Girls Tennis Coach and Head Boys Tennis coach at Monticello High School.

Matt Harris, is a Director of Athletics at the British International School of Houston.

Marty Bratrud is the Superintendent and High School Principal at Westhope High School.

Gordie Haug is an assistant football coach at the University of Wyoming

Mike Hastings is the Minnesota State Mankato Men’s head Hockey coach

Mike Biermaier is the Athletic Director at Thief River Falls High School

Stephanie (Lindsay) Perreault works with the North Dakota State stats crew for Bison football and volleyball and basketball in the winter. Stephanie’s husband, Ryan, is the assistant director for the Bison media relations

Jason Bushie is the hockey athletic trainer at Colorado College

Chris Myrold is a Tennis Pro on Nevis Island in the West Indies

Kyle Buchmeier
 is a Tennis Pro at the Reed-Sweatt Family Tennis Center in Minneapolis

Jarrett Butenhoff is serving our country with the U.S. Navy

Joshua Butenhoff is serving our country on a Submarine with the Pacific Fleet with the US Navy.

Peter Cournia is a 2002 Crookston High School Graduate and also a grad of West Point and is currently is serving in the U.S. Army.

Erik Ellingson is serving our country with the U.S. Air Force at Minot.

Philip Kujawa class of 2004 from Crookston High School.  He is an Army recruiter in Rochester.

Scott Riopelle is head of Crookston Parks and Recreation

Rob Sobolik is the General Manager of the Fargodome

That’s it for this week.  Thanks for the comments and if you have anything to add or share, please e-mail or call.  Thanks for reading and listening to KROX RADIO and